You Have Twins?!

by Natalie Hoage
(Southern CA)

I think the reaction I get when people find out I have twins is totally predictable and almost always exactly the same: eyebrows go up, mouth goes into a circle, and then "Oh! You have 9 month old twins? How exciting/fun!" Always.the.same.thing.


This is, of course, unless the person I'm talking to also has twins - then the reaction is different. It's a look that's says I know what you are going through, good luck to you, and I feel your pain. Or something like that...but it's always that kinda look and a nod that says "Power to the people of twins!"

I'm gonna let you know a little secret: when someone approaches the mom of twins with a smile on their face, we already know what questions will be asked and what will be said after we answer the questions. Here they are, in no particular order...
* Are they natural twins? Or (the more politically correct approach) Do twins run in your family?
* Are they fraternal or identical?
* Do you have other children?
* "I don't know how you do it!"
* "You must be busy!"

So here are my answers to those questions.
* Are they natural twins?
Really? Like I'm going to discuss fertility issues with a complete stranger, because that won't take too much time. But no, they were not naturally conceived. We went through fertility treatments both times I got pregnant. Oh, and yes, twins do run in my family. I have aunts that are twins.

* Are they fraternal or identical?
Ms. L and Ms. M are fraternal twins. They are now 9 months old and perfect and beautiful in every way...just like their mom (Kidding! Kinda...). I don't think they look alike, but I have family that still aren't sure who is who. And whether he'll admit it or not, if hubby's not looking at them head on, even he gets confused sometimes.

* Do you have other children?
Yep, a monster toddler. Tater. He's almost three and by himself he is a total handful, and more often than not, a complete monster.

* "I don't know how you do it!" and/or "You must be busy!" I don't know how I do it either, I just do it. I mean really, what choice do I have??! And of course I'm busy...I have three kids!

So there you have it! The top five things I hear all the time and the answers. And the next time you see the mom of twins in line at the grocery store, she just probably doesn't have time for a chat. She's probably already chatted about the twins four or five other times the same day, and would be a lot happier if you just told her how cute they are! And everybody has some twin connection, but we really don't want to hear about you wish you would have had twins or about how your sisters are twins/your friends are twins/or your uncle's wife's sister's cousins that are twins. Seriously.




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Questions People Have for Twin Parents!

Thanks for sharing that humorous perspective!! We definitely were asked those questions. I remember getting stopped no less than five times in a grocery run!

I think my reaction to comments and questions may have been one of the exceptions though. We had just moved to a big city and didn't know anyone, so I just loved it when we got attention in the stores. I still remember going to Publix and the whole deli personnel came out to see the girls.


We became a familiar sight in Babies R Us, the Post Office and WalMart. In fact I remember one day I was having difficulty steering our Duo Glider. A familiar face from Babies R Us approached us. He said, "I've helped you at Babies R Us. Let me give you a hand..." He flicked a tab at the bottom of the stroller and suddenly it steered great. My husband and I still laugh about our lack of baby stroller knowledge!

There definitely seems to be an immediate bond between twin parents! In fact one of the best friends I made was a mother of twins...while shopping at Babies R Us. :)


Teaching Tiny Tots

Comments for You Have Twins?!

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What you don't get the "double trouble" comment?
by: Jules @ Partners In Crime

I read a great reply to the "are they natural" comment on another blog. It was "No. They're plastic".

It gets better....
by: TwinHappyJen

Of course, I can relate to all of this... but, one other funny thing I'd like to add: When my girls were babies, and I would meet another Mother of twins, they almost always had the same line, as well: It gets easier! :-p Now, I have the urge to say it myself, when I see a Mom of baby twins... because, it really does. In fact, when they get older, I think it's almost easier than having just one.

Anyway, not really twin-related, but another question I would get asked often when the girls were babies was, "Are they boys?" It took awhile for their hair to grow in (and, of course, it can be hard to tell the sex of babies sometimes, anyway)... but, because of that, I would almost always dress them in pink. And still, I would get that question. I was really tempted to say, "Yep, they're boys... I just put them in these pink dresses to take blackmail photos of them." :-p

If I have twin
by: KLZ

If I have twins, I would like to have a night where we conspire to answer all of these repetitive questions in the most diabolical way possible.

They run in my family so watch out Natalie.

Twins in the family
by: Michelle E

I loved your story. I can totally relate. Especially to the last part when everyone feels the need to tell you their twin connections in the family! lol Thank you for your story. (:

Replies to twin comments
by: Natalie Hoage

@ Jules - that is the best response EVER and I'm totally going to start using it!

@ Twin Happy Jen - I have heard that too! They are actually easier than my toddler. I hope they continue to be that way :)

@ KLZ - if you have twins we are going to have to move next door to each other!

share the love
by: Christine

I'm not sure I can agree with much that was said in this article. As the mother of both triplets and twins (both sets naturally conceived), I am constantly stopped in the street and the shopping centre. Two of the trips are identical, the third (also a girl) is hard to differentiate). One of the twin boys has brown hair and blue eyes. The other has red hair and brown eyes. I think it is hysterical when I am asked if they are identical.

There is little enough wonderment at the joy that children bring without surly responses to people who just want to share the joy. No-one is too busy for a polite smile and a, "thank you, they make me very happy". All the unsolicited advice, the silly questions, the dumb statements are merely people's attempts to engage.

My kids are special to me. I love that other people also affirm them.

How about the, "Are you done?" comment?
by: Anonymous

Like its anyone's business if you want to have a large family or not. People do say the rudest things at times, don't they? simply thoughtless...

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